Every marriage, regardless of its current state, benefits from a conscious effort to improve. For couples seeking guidance, Islamic teachings provide clear, actionable principles rooted in spirituality and human dignity. Here are two fundamental reminders that can immediately strengthen your married life.
I. Fulfilling the Divine Contract: Rights and Obligations
Marriage in Islam is not just a social agreement; it is a sacred contract (mithāq) governed by divine law. The moment a Muslim enters marriage, they become obligated to respect and uphold their spouse’s rights, as defined by God and taught by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him),.
This means the success of the marriage is directly tied to honoring these commitments. God states about obligations generally:
“O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations” [Qur’an 5:1],
“And fulfill (every) covenant. Verily, the covenant will be questioned about” [Qur’an 17:34]
Ignoring or knowingly violating these defined limits is considered transgression:
“And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the Zalimoon (wrong-doers, etc.)” (Qur’an 2:229)
Two Common Roadblocks
A marital relationship often struggles due to two main failures related to these divine laws:
- Ignorance of the Law: Many couples rush into marriage without learning the specific, mutual rights and duties that both husbands and wives have over each other. Instead, they rely on personal interpretations or cultural assumptions, which complicate the relationship when disagreements arise.
- Selfish Focus on Rights: Spouses often focus selfishly on how their partner is failing to meet their rights, rather than investing time and effort into learning and fulfilling their own obligations toward the other spouse. In Islam, a healthy relationship requires both parties to prioritize giving over demanding.
The solution is continuous learning and active self-correction: make a lasting mental note that you will be questioned about how you fulfilled your spouse’s rights.
II. Protecting Human Dignity: Respect in Conflict
Disagreements, challenges, or simply having a "bad day" are unavoidable parts of life. These are not signs of a bad relationship. A relationship only turns sour when a couple responds to these situations by showing disrespect to the other person. This includes raising one’s voice disrespectfully, disregarding the other’s opinions, or putting down the other individual.
Disrespect creates cracks in the relationship because it violates the inherent honor God granted to all human beings. When we trample over someone’s dignity, we invite animosity, mistrust, and an equal or worse response.
God has codified dignity and honor as part of our fundamental nature:
“And indeed We have honored the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with At-Tayyibat (lawful good things), and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preferment.” (Qur’an 17:70),
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized that this dignity is sacred. During his last sermon, he stated that the very essence of a Muslim is inviolable:
“Your BLOOD, your WEALTH and your HONOR are sacred among you, as sacred as this day of yours in this month of yours in this land of yours.”,
In fact, the honor of an individual is considered greater than even the holiest sites. When circling the Ka'bah, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was reported to have said:
“How great is your majesty and your sanctity. By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the sanctity of a believer in front of Allah is more than your sanctity – His possessions and his life and we always think good of him.”,
A happy marriage is one where couples tackle challenges and tough talks without crossing the line into disrespect. Even in moments of stress, denigrating human dignity is never sanctioned.
Conclusion: The Ideal Spouses
By committing to both principles—fulfilling divine obligations and maintaining mutual respect—couples strive toward the ideal characteristics praised by the Prophet (peace be upon him):
For women, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“The entire world is full of resources, and among them the best resource is a RIGHTEOUS WIFE.” (Reported by Abdullah ibn Amr; Sahih Muslim, Vol. 2, #3465),
For men, the Prophet (peace be upon him) set the highest standard:
“The most complete believer is the best in character, and the best of you is the BEST TO HIS WOMENFOLK.” (Tirmidhi #1162 and verified),
Let us commit to learning our mutual rights and, crucially, resolving all conflict without resorting to disrespect.
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